Soft-Style Lovemaking and the Art of Surrender

Tantric sexual practices are designed to take you out of your head and into your body and heart. Tantric teacher Luminessa Enjara says soft-style lovemaking is one of the most powerful ways for a couple to make love.

One of the most powerful ways for two people to make love is called soft-style lovemaking. This is a more feminine approach to lovemaking. It requires a certain amount of skill on the part of the man but is well worth the time invested to learn.

Tantric lovemaking is vastly different from what most people consider lovemaking. Tantric lovemaking is about merging body, mind, heart, and soul as one. In Tantric lovemaking there are no limits to where you can go since it is primarily about directing the expansion of your sexual energy upward as well as throughout your entire body. With this as a primary focus, the play between two people becomes one of deepening intimacy and connection and of opening the body to more and more blissful states of ecstasy and expanded states of awareness. Read more

Awakening the Third Eye by Breath of Fire

Breath of Fire is a breathing exercise that greatly oxygenates the blood and produces an extraordinary amount of prana (chi). Together with specific hand positions (mudras), it is an effective way to develop the third eye and crown chakras.

Celebrities Promote Tantric Sex

Celebrities ranging from Sting to Sean "Diddy" Combs to Heather Graham have all extolled the virtues of Tantric sex. For some reason, this seems to bother ABC News.

In a beginner's guide to Tantric sex, a YouTube video shows a fully-clothed couple demonstrating the "yabyum" position. She sits on his lap, staring deeply into his eyes, as they harmonize their breathing, stopping and starting their undulations in a slow method known as "riding the wave."

The ancient Hindi practice -- reportedly embraced by rocker Sting and his wife Trudy, actress Heather Graham and impresario Sean "Diddy" Combs -- has been dubbed the "gateway to ecstasy." Read more

Sugasm #168

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #169? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Covet
“My mouth waters at the sheer beauty.”

Lilly’s Turn - Part 3: Wherein Lust, Greed and Risk Intersect
“She was biting her lip to prevent herself from making a sound.”

Oh Dirty Girl
“It was at that moment that I knew I needed him to take me and take me dirty.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Porn’s 2009 AIDs Outbreak

Sugasm Editor
Review: Why Just Her

Editor’s Choice
My very first HNT!

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

Erotic Writing & Experiences
He Can Use Me All Night – Part Two, Yet Another Hotel
Hump Day Poetry
I Can’t Get No Contraception - Part 2
Just fucking.
Keeping It Simple
Tedious Training
Wet dream at the airport-part2

News, Reviews & Interviews
20 Questions with Satine Phoenix
Favorite Jeans -HNT
Girly HNT.
Glow Plugs and the Kegel8 Effect
I’m unemployed and I live with my parents
Protection and Promiscuity

Sex Advice
Congrats! You are the new proud owner of some Sexy Lingerie!
Pompoir: The Art of Milking the Lingam
The truth about female ejaculation

BDSM & Fetish
Breed Sex Part 1: They Want to Cum in You.
Daddy Spanked Me
Darklady’s 9th Annual Masturbate-a-Thon - The Solo Sex Circus
High School Bully Part 3
Humiliation
Imprint
A Kiss Goodbye
Meeting a Domme
Le 6 janvier…L’histoire!…My version

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Bent in the chair for harsh punishment
Cikita
Lindsay Lohan Topless Twitter Picture
Liv - Pure Perfection
Nude at daylight
Teen girl bending over for some harsh cane stripes
Touched

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Eagerness & Blow Jobs – Lessons Learned From Gay and Bi Men
Faking Orgasms | How it feels for a girl
On Love, Loss and Taking Risks

The Sex Benefits of Yoga

Women's Health uncovers the real reason there's a big "O" in yoga

Sleep on this: You'd have better sex if you were a loose woman. Limbering up with yoga will help you build a strong, supple body — and that leads to a lot more action in the bedroom, says Ellen Barrett, author of Sexy Yoga. "Yoga increases flexibility, which helps you to be free and just go for it in sex," she says. Here are five more reasons you should hit the mat before you hit the sack. Read more

A Tantric Meditation: Om Ah Hum

This meditation uses a traditional Tantric mantra that vibrates the physical and, thus, the etheric bodies. This moves energy forcefully up the spine to join the lower and higher selves.

Tips on Tantric Lovemaking

Tantra teacher Carla Tara gives some tips on Tantric lovemaking - especially Tantric foreplay - because, "The more you prepare, the higher you can go into ecstasy."

Tantric lovemaking is not only about having hours of intercourse. A tantric connection includes the seduction, the intimacy building, the eye gazing, the erotic energy exchange, the touching, the kissing, the honoring of each other’s body, the intercourse and the afterglow… and each part can take a long time depending how creative you are willing or in the mood to be.

It’s important to know that you can stop this connection at any time and yet feel relaxed and fulfilled because you did not have a goal to “come”; the desire was to connect and to exchange energy in a conscious way, which is always very sexy and uplifting. Read more

Sugasm #167

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #168? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Every Time You Orgasm, An Angel Gets Its Wings
“There is nothing that screams “fuck you” to the pain and the hurt in the world than screaming “fuck me” to the person in your bed.”

HNT: Spanked
“I wasn’t sure how I felt about him. But tonight, I was sure.”

A Thousand Kisses
“This wasn’t enough. I knew that I had to try something else.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Congratulations, you’re invited!

Sugasm Editor
Sex Work And Honesty: Religion

Editor’s Choice
Food, fun and commitment

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Chloe
HNT
Love HNT Part II
So Many Stripes
Valentina Vaughn
Video Q&A #1

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Dementor
Fat Ass Betty
Full Circle
Going where no one has gone before

Sex Humor
Adventures in Craigslist (and a belated HNT)

Erotic Writing & Experiences
Ass-tute
Conversations about Crossdressing (Early Morning Version)
A Feast of Cock
Gender Fuck
Her Favorite Positions - The Conclusion
I Can’t Get No…Contraception
Lessons from an Orgy
Lilly’s Turn - Part 2: Wherein One Good Turn Deserves Another
Mirrors
Must be the weather…
New Perspective
Party.
Picture of Propriety
Playing with Dolls
Please don’t book me ever again
The Poet Surrenders
Rebirth In An Orgy
The Synestheatre
Wet dream at the airport-part1
A Wicked Birthday Bang

BDSM & Fetish
Bending over for some harsh cane stripes
Digging a hole, is that the way you treat me
Lick me
Preparing for Punishment: part one
Puppy’s first visit
A Salute to Masturbation May
SF Treat
Subs: How to NOT Apply
That Look
Thoughts about the play party and Femdom.
Under 40 ~ The New Kinky Bar
What Kind of Submissive Are You?

Sex Advice
How to be bisexual on the internet
How to Give a Tantric Breast Massage
Sometimes You Need A Break…

News, Reviews & Interviews
It’s Good to be the Intern
Kink Interview: Thomas’s Spanking Exploits
LELO Luna Beads: Because You Deserve Them
Product Review: Intimate Organics Energizing Fresh Orange & Wild Ginger Foot Foreplay Lotion
Top 5 Tuesday - Sun, Sand and Smut!

Taoist Secrets to Sexual Bliss

FOXSexpert Yvonne K. Fulbright reveals some of the secrets to sexual bliss contained in Taoist “pillow books."

You want enlightened sexual bliss. But what does it take to get there? Far from unattainable, lovers of various spiritual traditions are seeking it via Taoist sexuality. What started out as a branch of Chinese philosophy and medicine, Taoist sex has been regarded as sacred sex for five thousand years.

The rewards it offers are huge. Sexual union is seen as key to health, longevity, and spiritual perfection. Equally appealing — practitioners claim greater sexual pleasure and sensations, stronger orgasms, and heightened spiritual energy in this earthly form of a greater cosmic dance.

Here are some of the secrets Taoist “pillow books” have been spilling when it comes to greater pleasure pursuits: Read more

Heather Graham: Tantric Sex Works for Me

Heather Graham and Sting have something in common. While promoting her small role in The Hangover, Heather Graham told the Daily Mail how she enjoys Tantric sex.

... I first got into it when I was filming The Guru in 2002 and I haven't looked back. What most people know about tantric sex is that Sting does it and it lasts eight hours. But he's not having sex continually. You can take a bath, massage your partner, listen to music. The idea is that you let the whole thing build very slowly until finally you merge with your partner. It works for me. Read more

Pompoir: The Art of Milking the Lingam

Pompoir is the art of “milking” the lingam of your partner with your yoni. (Lingam and yoni are Sanskrit for penis and vagina.) While both partners are still, the woman grips and massages her man's erection with rhythmic, rippling contractions of the pubococcygeus muscle (PC) and other pelvic floor muscles. (This rippling effect also happens during an intense orgasm in a woman.) The rippling causes a kind of milking action that can be felt by the lingam.

A woman trained in the art of pompoir is called a Kabbazah in the Middle East. The word Kabbazah translates to “one who holds." Men say that pompoir feels like having a warm, soft, wet, velvet-gloved hand wrapped around their lingam, firmly gripping it and stroking them into the most delicious sexual nirvana they have ever experienced.

The PC Muscle Routine

In order to practice pompoir, your PC and pelvic floor muscles must be trained to improve their strength and performance. Locate the PC muscles by inserting a finger into your yoni and trying to squeeze your finger. Make sure you’re not also tensing your thighs, buttocks, or anal muscles. Then try these exercises:

1) The short squeeze. Contract the PC muscles 10 times at approximately one squeeze per second. Inhale gently as you contract and exhale when you release. Start with two sets of 10. Gradually build up to two sets of 50 a day.

2) The long squeeze. Hold the muscle contraction for a count of three. Relax between contractions. Work up to holding for 10 seconds and relaxing for 10 seconds. Start with two sets of 10 each and gradually build up to two sets of 50.

3) Pull-in, push-out. Pull up the entire pelvic floor as though trying to suck water into the yoni, and then push out or bear down as if trying to push the water out. This exercise uses the abdominal muscles as well as the PC muscles. Do this five times in a row. Build up to 10 sets.

4) The elevator. Imagine that there’s an elevator in your pelvic region and that you want to raise it up floor by floor. Starting at the ground floor, go up to the first floor, then up the second floor, and last, to the third floor. Then gradually allow the “elevator” to go back down, stopping at each floor. Once you get to the ground floor, completely relax the muscles you’ve just exercised. Start with one set of 10 repetitions and build up to five sets of 10.

You can break up your exercises and do them in two or more sessions daily (in fact, I would recommend it) and still get the same benefits as long as you complete the total number of repetitions. Vary your position from standing, to sitting, to kneeling, to sitting in order to completely exercise the pelvic floor muscles.

As you perfect these exercises and strengthen the muscles, you’ll begin to notice that you can isolate groups of muscles in your pelvic floor. This enables you to isolate your clitoris, for instance, and stimulate yourself at any time.

Milking the Lingam

1) The best positions for pompoir are women on top and sitting positions, such as Yab-Yum.

2) Begin by having your man lie down. He should relax and remain passive, letting you do the work.

3) Stimulate him until he is erect. Once he is erect, insert his lingam into your yoni.

4) He is not to thrust or move his lingam in any fashion. He should remain as still as he can.

5) Once his lingam is inserted and you’re in position, either straddling him or sitting in his lap, you should try to not move your pelvis. Your only movements should come from contracting your yoni using your pompoir skills.

6) You may kiss and caress each other freely, but no thrusting or rocking.

7) Flex and contract your PC muscles in various patterns until you feel his lingam throbbing. (With Kegel exercises, the yoni becomes more sensitive.) This should occur after 10 to 15 minutes and is an indication of his intense arousal.

8) Get the feel of his throbbing lingam and time your squeezing and releasing with his throbbing. Squeeze and release as fast as you can as he nears ejaculation.

9) Keep “milking” his lingam as he climaxes, which will make him feel as if the ejaculate is being pulled from his body - a thrilling sensation for both of you.

10) After his orgasm, keep flexing and relaxing your PC muscles and build up to your own climax. Add additional clitoral stimulation with your fingers as needed and keep flexing until you are satisfied.

For experienced Tantra practitioners, combining pompoir in the Yab-Yum position with eye gazing may propel you and your partner to new heights of sexual ecstasy and spiritual connection. Enjoy.

Being able to give your man pleasure by caressing, fondling, gripping, massaging, and milking his lingam without using your hands is enough reason for a woman to learn pompoir. However, developing the PC muscles used to do the gripping also increases a woman's orgasm frequency, intensity, and variety. For most women, orgasm is centered in the clitoris, but with proper exercise not only does your clitoral orgasm improve, you develop the ability to experience vaginal, multiple, and ejaculating orgasms.

When personal Tantra instruction is either inconvenient or too expensive, Al Link and Pala Copeland's Sexual Mastery Course and Kerry and Diane Riley's Ultimate Home Tantra Course are two excellent self-teaching courses. I highly recommend either of these courses for those who can't find a local Tantra teacher, attend a Tantra workshop, or just want to explore Tantra in the privacy of their own home.

How a Man Can Help His Woman Ejaculate

Tantra teacher Janet Kira Lessin gives men advice on how to support a woman in freeing her sexual energy and reclaiming her ability to release Amrita.

Whether or not a woman ejaculates is an indicator of possible trauma or abuse and shows how a woman holds back in her life or relationships. Holding back is not wrong. A woman’s defenses have come into place in her being for a divine reason known only to her and her psyche and are there to protect her and maintain her integrity. They are to be honored.

The time, place and people and the place must be safe for her, that’s why it’s so important to create the container for this sacred event. Create that which she needs in order for it to be appropriate for her to let down her guard.

In tantra, the goal is GOALESSNESS, especially when it involves female ejaculation which is extremely personal, intense and involves a high degree of openness and vulnerability for both the giver and receiver. This sacred ritual deserves to be honored and respected and not put into the arena of a circus show. Getting a woman to ejaculate is not an indicator of a man’s sexual prowess and a woman’s ability to ejaculate is not yet another area where women can compare themselves and feel inferior to a man or even other women.

It takes a woman longer to get aroused than a man. So in order to get synchronized, in tantric sex we always give the woman at least one orgasm before intercourse. Read more

Men, Tantra, and Sexual Healing

The first step men need to take to reclaim their sexual power, says Maryse Coté, is to recognize that they need sexual healing. (My post Healing Your Man with Tantric Male G-Spot Massage deals with one aspect of this topic.)

... My purpose here is to explore the many ways how men have also been wounded- such as the lack of sexual initiation, circumcision or social factors- and to suggest some initial steps men can take to begin healing.

I have worked privately with over a thousand men as an instructor of basic Tantric and Taoist practices and as a sexual healer over the last ten years. I have loved many men in my life, including six younger brothers. However, I must admit that it is with a limited confidence that I approach the subject of male sexual woundings because I am not in a man's body. I can't access the same cellular memory as when I talk about women. Nevertheless, I have seen, felt and heard men's woundings and the unnecessary suffering that results from having a penis.

Attempting to understand how a man experiences himself as a sexual being requires that we take a closer look at how we've all been wounded. Read more