Gratitude Helps People Create New Relationships

A new study has found that expressing gratitude helps people create new relationships.

A new study from the University of New South Wales has found that expressing gratitude to new acquaintances will earn you friends. The study was put together to explore a theory that suggests that gratitude helps people create new relationships, build on the ones they already have, and help to maintain both. In an effort to test the “new relationships” aspect of that theory, researchers studied 70 university students who gave advice to younger peers. The students were told that they were mentoring high school students and critique their university admissions essays. Afterwards, the mentors received handwritten notes from their faux mentees, and only about half of those notes included an expression of thanks for assisting them with their essays. The mentors who were thanked were more likely to give the younger students their contact information and presumably continue the friendship. The mentors also reported warmer personalities when it came to the grateful mentees, and that warmth is probably why grateful people make lots of friends. Read more

5 Better Ways to Express Your Intimacy

Em & Lo share five better ways to express you intimacy than sharing your password.

A recent survey by Pew Internet and the American Life Project found that one in three teens had shared a password (email, Facebook, etc.) with a friend or boyfriend or girlfriend. Apparently sharing your password is the new way to express intimacy, to prove to your partner that you have nothing to hide. Um, hello Facebook hacking! (Aside: Did you know that if you work at Facebook HQ and accidentally leave your FB account logged in when you leave your desk, some jokester colleague will update your status to say that you are pooping? Apparently it’s a company tradition.) Anyway. Maybe teens don’t have any credit card digits to lose just yet, but identify theft (or even just unauthorized identity borrowing) can suck in junior high too. We hope we don’t need to explain what a terrible idea this is.

But just in case we do — and we get it: exchanging letterman jackets and class rings is so last century — here are five better ways to express your intimacy, for the love-struck teen inside us all. Read more

Is There Such a Thing as a Soul Mate?

Is there such a thing as a soul mate? Sadhguru J. Vasudev says that the soul cannot mate with anything.

To some extent, the process of mating belongs to the body and the mind. The soul cannot mate with anything, nor does the soul need a mate because it is absolute and boundless. Only what is limited needs a mate in order feel a little better.

If you choose a mate because you want your body to feel a little better, we call that sexuality, and it can be quite beautiful. If we choose a mate because we want our minds to feel a little better, we call that companionship. If we want our emotions to feel better, we call that love. Read more

What Meditation Can Do for Your Relationship

Ed and Deb Shapiro, authors of Be the Change: How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, say that meditation can help us confront our own issues so that we can allow love into our lives.

... To love ourselves is seeing and accepting the more hidden side of ourselves. Most of us have issues with past hurts, traumas and conflicts. Meditation enables us to see the deception, jealousy, grief, envy, trauma and other issues that dwell in our heads. It gives us a spaciousness where we can step back to be more honest. It also gives us the chance to make friends with our demons. Do we let our issues rule us, or can we see them for what they are and release the hold they have? Read more

Rewire Your Brain for Love

Psychologist Marsha Lucas explains how to change your brain in ways which support healthier, more satisfying relationships.

As a psychologist, I see people in my practice all the time who complain that the thrill of sex dies down after awhile. It gets, well, routine. Same-old, same-old. Going through the motions. Sometimes, they get around to asking what they can do to spice things up.

"Yes, there is," I say.

Their eyes get a little wider, their hearts jump a bit.

They're not always thrilled when I tell them they need to change their brain structure. And sometimes even less thrilled when I tell them one of the best ways to change their brain for better sex, is mindfulness meditation. Read more

Slow Down for Hot Sex

When you feel a strong connection with someone, it's tempting to just go at it, but taking taking things slowly will lead to a more explosive orgasm when you finally do peak, says certified sexuality educator Logan Levkoff..

When you feel a strong sexual connection with someone, it's tempting to tear off his clothes and go at it. But taking time to savor the experience has a big pleasure payoff. "When you engage your body and mind in bed, you'll feel more relaxed, connected to your partner, and aroused—all of which result in better sex," says Logan Levkoff, Ph.D., a certified sexuality educator. "Plus, taking things slowly will stave off your orgasm so that when you finally do peak, it will feel more explosive." Here, tips that will help you extend the act. Read more

Meditation for Better Relationships

No matter how devoted we may be to the spiritual life, few of us have the desire to become hermits meditating on a mountaintop. We have jobs, businesses, families, friends, and neighbors, and during our day we are sure to encounter difficult people sometimes. How do we do that in a spiritual way? Chade-Meng Tan describes three meditation practices that he has found to be extremely useful in helping him deal with people.

A long time ago, I came across this joke:

Once, a disciple asked, "Master, is associating with people half the holy life?"

The Master replied, "No, associating with people is the whole of holy life".

This joke probably started as a misreading of the famous Upaddah Sutta in Buddhism, where the Buddha told Ananda that friendships with "admirable people" is not half of holy life, but the whole of holy life. Over time, however, I found the humorous apocryphal version to be deeply insightful. There are at least two components to one's spiritual practice, Wisdom and Compassion, and associating with people, especially in difficult situations, helps us grow Compassion. Therefore, you probably cannot live a holy life without associating with people.

I have found three practices to be extremely useful in helping me deal with people. Read more