Karezza: An Orgasm-Free Way to Improve Your Sex Life

Karezza is an orgasm-free way to improve your sex life, says Anna Medaris Miller.

Whether it’s a quickie in the closet while the kids sleep, a brief bang in the bathroom in between teeth-brushing and face-washing, or a three-minute romp in the sack before the snoring strikes, you're probably good at “efficient” sex.

Recent research from Utrecht University in the Netherlands found that the average time between penetration and orgasm among 500 couples around the world was 5.4 minutes. (Yes, the couples used stopwatches.) Read more

Karezza: Victorian Tantra

David Haenke and catherine yronwode explain how to practice karezza, a sexual practice developed by one of the first female doctors in the U.S. Alice Bunker Stockham.

The longing for the genital embrace is profoundly expressed in the belief in a "universal spirit," in "God," the "creator."

-- Wilhelm Reich, "Cosmic Superimposition"

Until recently, it was possible to read many volumes on the subject of Tantra Yoga without realizing that sexual energy was its central motif. over the thousands of years during which this complex philosophy, religion, and science of sexual union has evolved, its central source often remained hidden.

Today a number of spiritual teachers will show anyone with the time and money the actual practice of spiritual sexual union. Still, the essence of what they impart is shrouded in the terms of the teacher's particular religion, and subject to their sometimes tyrannical control. New Age revelations of Tantra's ancient central secret still leave the seven veils of belief and dogma intact.

Has anyone ever tried to remove the veils, to lay down simply and clearly, without intermediaries or the trappings of any particular religious trip, the essential lpractice of sexual spiritual union?

In the last half of the nineteenth century Alice Bunker Stockham, one of the first woman doctors in the U.S., did just that. In her book, "The Ethics of Marriage" (available from Health Research, Box 70, Mokelumme, CA 95245), she promoted women's rights and equality of the sexes, urged the prevention of "wedding night rape," and advocated a safe, free method of birth control through a practice she termed "karezza" (pronounced kar-ET'-za), from the Italian "carezza," or "caress." Read more

Karezza Lovemaking for Singles

Marnia Robinson relates how a 28-year-old single woman practices karezza, making love without the goal of orgasm,

"I like the idea of karezza (making love without the goal of orgasm)," explained a 28-year old friend, "but I'm not married yet ... and I'm certainly not going to live without sex!" I asked her how she proposed to explain the concept to her 20-something peers, and she said she already had--quite successfully. Here's Joni Renee's account: Read more

Comparing Taoist Sexuality with Karezza

Taoism is a spiritual tradition that embraces our sexual desire and uses it within our bodies as a force for healing and spiritual growth. The physical techniques of karezza are designed to teach control of the orgasm response in both men and women, for the purposes of physical pleasure, partnership bonding, better health, and spiritual benefit. How does Taoist sexuality compare with karezza?

Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy by Mantak Chia (with Michael Winn) was my first introduction to the wisdom of making love without striving for orgasm. This book made a big impression on me and I am very grateful to its authors. Chia, a neo-Taoist master, teaches men another way to manage their sexual energy, as well as the weakness in humanity's current habits. His book greatly expanded my understanding of my role as a lover, helping me to become a safer lover.

However, even before I stumbled upon the ancient account of Taoist lovemaking in the work ascribed to the famous Taoist sage, Laozi (or "Lao Tzu"), I realized that there was an inherent inconsistency in Chia’s teachings. The mystical, merging experience which he calls “the valley orgasm” is a state of “not doing.” Yet, much of Chia’s book is about performance-oriented techniques, such as clenching the teeth, the buttocks and the muscles around the prostate gland, counting intercourse strokes, and so forth. These vigorous measures permit a skilled man to approach the edge of orgasm, and then maintain his control sufficiently to make love rather vigorously…indefinitely. Read more

Spiritual Sex: From Orgasm To Soulgasm

Marnia Robinson compares Mantak Chia's neo-Daoism to karezza and finds karezza to be a superior method for reaching "soul orgasm," which she says is "an experience of 'being,' not 'doing,' of 'merging,' not 'doing to,' and of 'relaxation,' not 'performance.'"

Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy by Mantak Chia (with Michael Winn) was my first introduction to the wisdom of making love without striving for orgasm. Chia, a neo-Daoist master, teaches men another way to manage their sexual energy, as well as the weakness in humanity's current habits. His book greatly expanded my understanding of my role as a lover, helping me to become a safer lover.

However, even before I stumbled upon the ancient account of Daoist lovemaking in the work ascribed to the famous Daoist sage, Laozi (Lao Tzu), I realized that there was an inherent inconsistency in Chia’s teachings. The mystical, merging experience which he calls “the valley orgasm” is a state of “not doing.” Yet, much of Chia’s book is about performance-oriented techniques, such as clenching the teeth, the buttocks and the muscles around the prostate gland, counting intercourse strokes, and so forth. These vigorous measures permit a skilled man to approach the edge of orgasm, and then maintain his control sufficiently to make love rather vigorously…indefinitely. Read more

A Short Definition of Sacred Sex

Catherine Yronwode gives a short definition and history of Tantra, karezza, and other forms of sacred sex. It doesn't get any clearer or more succinct than this.

Tantra (a Sanskrit word which means "woven together") is a term loosely applied to several divergent and even contradictory schools of Hindu yoga in which the sexual union of male and female is worshipped either in principle or in human practice. It has also come to be applied to sex-based religious practices developed in other religions, including Bon, Tibetan Buddhism, Taoism, Christianity, Judaism, and Transcendentalism. Read more