Tantric sex attempts to bring two loving partners together in more than just a physical manner. The word Tantra is Sanskrit and is derived from the root word tan meaning "to extend, expand, spread, continue, spin out, weave, to put forth or manifest.” The idea is to extend your mind and encompass your body to achieve the ultimate satisfaction. In the practice of Tantra, there is a sort of "being- consciousness-bliss" which has the power of self-evolution and self-involution (learning and expanding and looking into oneself). Therefore, the evolution of self helps to bring two people closer together.
One essential element of Tantra is taking time to become absorbed in oneself and your partner. The methods learned and used in Tantric sex provide sensations and sexual pleasure far more intense and complex than just a simple orgasm. In Tantric sex, the orgasm is simply a by-product of the connectedness we feel with our partner.
You begin by creating an environment that is free from distractions, an area that is calm, quiet and peaceful. Your sacred space should be clean of clutter, decorated peacefully, warm, and inviting. Since you will be naked, the room should be warm in temperature as well. Nothing disconnects you from your lover like a shivering body. Playing soft music, lighting candles, and being comfortable are all especially important in creating a Tantric environment.
Once you are in your love haven, sit on the bed, face each other, look into each other’s eyes, and simply breathe. You have to get in touch with each other’s rhythm. You breathe in and out purposefully, paying attention to your lover’s rhythm. As you continue to breathe together, you become closer spiritually, more relaxed, and more in tune. The more attuned you are, the more aware and connected.
Tantric sex is not a race to the finish. Tantric sex is slow and purposeful, but fun. While traditional Tantrists will practice the slow lovemaking for hours upon hours, the average person trying to learn Tantra is not going to have the patience or, quite frankly, the willpower to devote such time. The idea is to not rush, to enjoy yourself, and get as highly aroused as you can.
The basic idea here is to caress, stroke, lick, touch, kiss, and otherwise tease and enjoy each other. You can take turns with a slow, seductive massage or simply sit and touch each other slowly. Pay homage to your lover’s body – all of it. That means ears, nose, neck, stomach, thighs, feet, and so on. The goal is to become familiar, relaxed, and aroused by the whole person, not just the penis or the vagina though you may wish to include a Lingam and Yoni massage as part of your lovemaking.
When you begin the actual sexual intercourse stage, it is important to bring yourself to a heightened state of arousal and then let yourself down. This means, while you are making love, when the man feels his orgasm impending, he should stop, breathe, come down a bit, and then continue to pleasure his partner and himself. This not only builds a tremendous level of sexual tension, but it also develops self-control, heightens the emotional connection, and makes the final release ten times more intense.
Eventually, both partners will get to the point when they have to release. Since Tantric sex involves a total connection, as you are preparing to release your sexual tension, make sure to look deeply into your lover’s eyes, feel their breathing, and communicate your feelings. When a couple is connected in this way, the orgasm that comes will be totally engulfing. Orgasm does not mean that journey ends though. Take the time to connect with one another, and your own road to enlightenment will begin.
When personal Tantra instruction is either inconvenient or too expensive, Al Link and Pala Copeland's Sexual Mastery Course and Kerry and Diane Riley's Ultimate Home Tantra Course are two excellent self-teaching courses. I highly recommend either of these courses for those who can't find a local Tantra teacher, attend a Tantra workshop, or just want to explore Tantra in the privacy of their own home.