Why is New Age spirituality so prevalent in the sex- positive community?
A few weeks ago, I wrote a piece on this blog about my skeptical, materialist, atheist, entire non- spiritual view of sexual transcendence, and why you don’t need to see sex as metaphysical to see it as magnificent and meaningful.
I deliberately didn’t make the piece critical of spirituality and religion. Partly, that simply wasn’t the point of the piece: the point wasn’t to tear down the spiritual view of sex, but to offer an alternative to it. And partly, I’ll admit, it was because many of my friends and allies in the sex community have spiritual beliefs about sex, in some cases deeply held spiritual beliefs, and I was gun-shy about alienating them.
But I recently gave an interview to Greg Fish of the Weird Things blog, who read the piece and wanted to talk with me about it. And what Greg mostly wanted to know was the very question I’d been deliberately avoiding. He wanted to know why, in my opinion, so many people in the sex- positive community are so heavily invested in associating sex with spirituality and religion.
This is an attempt to answer that question. Read more
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Greta Christina tries to answer the question of why so many people in the sex- positive community are so heavily invested in associating sex with spirituality and religion. I think her third reason is the most important and relevant.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Dr. Elsbeth Meuth and Freddy Zental Weaver explain how ancient Tantric wisdom can tranform modern relationships and describe an easy solo practice.
Taoism, Hinduism, Buddhism, North American Quodoshka, and others, hold secrets to creating fulfilling love and intimacy that are not known to the Western world. One of these ancient traditions is Tantra which was born over 5000 years ago in East India and practiced by people that called themselves tantriks or tantrikas. You might wonder "What is it and how does it work?"
Here is a taste of what it's all about: In the Western world we look at our bodies, relationships and life in a way that is often compartmentalized. For example, we think of sexuality being separate from spirituality - as manifested in our bodies and our practices. In Tantra a possibility is offered that teaches how to integrate one's sexual with one's spiritual energies. This allows for a divine experience with oneself and ultimately with a partner. Rediscovering our innate energies that are sexual-spiritual in nature we then are able to express ourselves more fully - free from constraints and habitual patterns, e.g., shame, guilt, fear, suppression or obsession. And this in turn allows us to experience our full potential of pleasure and creativity. Read more
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Gabrielle Moore explains how a man can give his woman a Tantric massage... in the bathtub.
One of the ways a woman gives herself a relaxing treat is by soaking in a long, hot bath so you can take this opportunity to really giver her a treat by preparing a bath for her. Of course, with other ‘extra treats’ as only you can provide.
How to Prepare a ‘Proper’ Bath for Her
No guys, a bath is not just filling the tub with hot water and pouring some bubble bath solution in it. If you’re going to do this, do it good and create the right ambiance for her.
First, close the windows and blinds and submerge the whole bathroom in darkness. Next, light some candles. They can be scented or not depending on what you use for the… scented oil you want to place on the burner or oil diffuser. Read more
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Francesca Gentille, host of Sex: Tantra & Kama Sutra, explains the different between a quickie and a sacred quickie.
This morning . . . well I only had so much time. I had to pick up the car from the repair shop, make lunch for my son, clean, and go to the city to consult. Yet, I was feeling out of sorts, and disconnected from my love. What to do?
THE SACRED QUICKIE!
What’s the difference between a quickie and a sacred quickie? Read more
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Kundalini is etymologically linked to candalī, the Sanskrit term for tummo, or inner fire. Kundalini, therefore, is the energy that when accumulated and directed can become tummo.
Inner Fire Yoga, or Tum-mo, is the basic method used in the advanced stage of most tantra systems. When doing this practice, we will need to visualize our body in a certain way. This is called the "Vajra Body" and incorporating it into our self-image provides a useful way to work with our bodily energies. The structures visualized are not actually there when the body is autopsied. There are correlates with our physical bodies, yet that is only part of the picture. When we close our eyes and feel our bodies, it is hard to deny that different parts of the body have different energies and feelings. In any case, to do the practices, one needs to suspend disbelief and visualize the postulated structures and energies. After extended practice, the visualizations become internalized and become powerful tools for calming ourselves, connecting with the body and channeling energy. Read more
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Sex therapist Linda E. Savage follows up her post Spiritual Sex: Ecstatic Love Beyond the Physical with advice on how to begin the practice of spiritual sex.
It is true that our relationship with sexuality is complicated by everything that makes us human. We are all experts on our own experience, so in that regard, everyone who speaks for themselves is absolutely right. Since we are all influenced by culture and ours is particularly ambivalent about sex, much of our feelings about the subject get reflected in attitudes: the meaning we attach to sex. I know there are other models of sexuality and the one most prevalent in popular media is the Biological model. The attempt to reduce sex to physical and chemical components, a bit like plumbing systems, is perhaps a way to control the mystery of it all; but the mystery is what makes sex so interesting. As a colleague of mine, Dr. Leonore Tiefer said, to limit sexuality to biology makes it more like digestion than dancing. I choose dancing.
Let's start with the experience of sexual energy. You can try this exercise by yourself. It helps if you know how to do pelvic rocking. Lie down with your knees bent, feet about hip distance apart, and your low back flat on the floor (don't try this if you have back problems). As you rock your pelvis back with a slight arch, breathe in and as you tuck your pelvis, breathe out. Do this for just a few minutes and then lower your knees, straightening them to rest on the floor and continue breathing. Visualize energy moving up your spine with the in-breath and moving down the front of your body with the out breath. Read more
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Sex therapist Linda E. Savage asks us to imagine living in a culture where sex is sacred and not a sin and sexuality is seen as a positive expression of the life force - the norm in many cultures pre-dating Greek and Roman times. In these cultures, she says, sexuality was widely understood as a pathway to spiritual ecstasy.
Eleven minutes: that's the estimated time most couples spend making love and sometimes its not even much fun. Between one quarter and one half of long term relationships are beset with low desire and it is common for spouses to find other sexual outlets. We are living in a time when all the marital roles and rules have changed and old solutions don't seem to be working.
So imagine living in a culture where sex was sacred and not a sin and sexuality was seen as a positive expression of the life force. This perspective was the norm in many cultures pre-dating Greek and Roman times and these societies date back 30,000 years. Even as late as 3,500 years ago those who lived on the island of Crete recognized sexual pleasure as a wonderful way to connect with spirit, renew the abundance of the land, and unite deeply with one another. In this culture sexuality was widely understood as a pathway to spiritual ecstasy. Read more