Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
People blame philosopher René Descartes for the modern idea that spirit and body are two separate and antagonistic entities. I don't. I think making this division is an age-old trap. It takes work to see clearly that you need your physical senses to be a spiritual person, and that you need a spiritual acceptance of life's goodness to be profoundly sensual and sexual.
When you finally get body and spirit together—Renaissance writers said you need to be a person of soul to do this—you will discover greater joy in lovemaking. It makes sense: If you are a whole person made up of body, soul, and spirit, when you make love with only your body, you're getting only one third of the sex. Spirit and soul like sex, too, and they add immensely to the pleasure. Read more
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
A long time ago, I came across this joke:
Once, a disciple asked, "Master, is associating with people half the holy life?"
The Master replied, "No, associating with people is the whole of holy life".
This joke probably started as a misreading of the famous Upaddah Sutta in Buddhism, where the Buddha told Ananda that friendships with "admirable people" is not half of holy life, but the whole of holy life. Over time, however, I found the humorous apocryphal version to be deeply insightful. There are at least two components to one's spiritual practice, Wisdom and Compassion, and associating with people, especially in difficult situations, helps us grow Compassion. Therefore, you probably cannot live a holy life without associating with people.
I have found three practices to be extremely useful in helping me deal with people. Read more
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
This is one of my favorite tantra techniques as it is simple, effortless, and can be done before you get out of bed in the morning or before you go to sleep at night. And it may become habit forming!
Tantra Partner Connect Exercise
Find a quiet, comfortable space with no interruptions. Put on your sarongs (or your birthday suit!) and lie on your sides facing, toes touching, with top arms resting lightly on each other’s body. Use gentle taps to move from step to step. Read more
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
There are various ways for realization of SELF as Brahman, who is the source of Truth, Existence and Bliss. Tantra is one of them. Through Tantra we experience the Supreme Bliss of Knowledge & Power.
Most People are unclear about what Tantra really is and what it can do for you. Probably the most common view is that Tantra has some connection with Oriental religion, with uninhibited sex, and with the lovemaking positions and techniques outlined in the Kama Sutra, Hinduism's oldest sex manual. To some, Tantra is a free-love cult, a survival of the psychedelic sixties; to others, it's New Age spiritual sex therapy. See also: Sex Therapy
None of these views of Tantra are wrong outright, but none really explain what Tantra actually is. So what is Tantra? What does it mean? And, most important of all, what is its relevance to us today? Read more
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Last night I escaped the dramatic winter chill again and was warm and sheltered with a group of people celebrating Trudie Styler at her Yoga DVD launch at Donna Karan's Urban Zen Center. An aura of grace, enthusiasm, and ease follows Trudie wherever she goes. She announced in her welcome/award-like acceptance speech, that "Sadomasochism is the new Tantra". Read more
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
So, as promised in my previous post, I felt inspired to share with you an exercise in cultivating sexual energy, called White Tiger Tantra Heart Meditation. In my experience, this simple, yet powerful exercise not only helps amplify sexual arousal and intensify orgasms exponentially, it also gives a boost in creative energy and vitality. Read more
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
When my beloved and I were on Pilgimmage in India, we worked off our karmic incompatability by practicing "Agni-Homa" or Fire Puja under the guidence of a Tantric Master. Our vedic astrological charts revealed that we were tragically incompatablity in the area of romance. So, everyday for nearly 3 weeks we offered fire, prayers and prostrations to chandi the Moon Goddess.
The specific ceremony we practiced in India is a very complex vedic process that begins at sunrise or sunset and lasts for many hours. Here is a photo of the Agni temple where we practiced in South India. It's been over 5 years and my beloved and I are still experiencing extreme harmony.
In order to realize more relief from post pardum depression, I recently resumed a simplified version of this ceremony as my morning practice for the 21 days leading up to my recent Shadow Dancing intensive with David Cates. The results are comperably profound. Read more
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Tantra, a lifestyle integrating spirituality and consciousness, allows the you to experience moments of enlightenment and a blissful, beautiful sense of oneness with the entire universe and everything around you. This is the highest level of human development, a point at which the individual dissolves all the conflicts and tensions of the body, soul and mind and you become a "fully realized being." Well, for the moment.
I say for "the moment" because as human beings we don’t seem to be able to maintain that state of existence for long. Rather than make that "higher" or "lower," "right" or "wrong," I invite you to appreciate the perfection of this plane (the 3rd dimension) just as it is. Recognize your souls’ ability to experience multidimensional living as a choice. From this position of choice, realize the divine perfection of choosing being here now on the Earth, is as every bit as valid as being in "Seventh Heaven" and all the other levels in between.
As a conscious, Tantric, being, you can now further develop your ability to move inter-dimensionally as a continuing life practice, appreciate and enjoy the evolutionary process, alone, with lovers or in communities. You bring the best of all the dimensions that you experience back from your travels to your human life and begin to join and co-create with others, who are simultaneously becoming conscious and aware, and sanctifying true heaven on Earth. Read more
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Mandala literally means circle. Circles are meant as the powerful symbols in every religion and culture. Mandals are the sacred circles which are been used as facilatators in meditation and healing in several religions.
If you deeply observe the nature and working, you can relate much to this sacred circle: Mandala. Mandala can be seen everywhere in the nature. For example: galaxies, planets, moon, sun, even individual cells- all represent the mandala. Every mandala represents or symbolizes an aspect of the nature and the spirit. The energy in the mandala can be honed by meditation and the technique is called mandala meditation.
Here is the brief technique for Mandala Meditation: Read more
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Tantra is similar to mantra meditation, only your sex partner is your mantra. As with meditation practice, the more attention you choose to concentrate and focus on your partner, the more benefit you will receive from practice. Commitment and dedication to the practice is necessary to attain maximum benefit from a Tantric practice.
A piece of your essence, your life force energy, is transferred to your Tantric partner when orgasm occurs during sexual intercourse. If your Tantric partner has an orgasm with somebody else, without first closing the Tantric circle and returning your essence, some of it will be transferred to the new lover. And if the new lover, then has an orgasm with someone, your essence will be transferred along to that person, and so on. Tantrikas call it "leaking energy" when people share their sexual essence unconsciously in such a manner.
People who are truly practicing Tantra, share their orgasmic energy exclusively and selectively, with others who are committed to containing and protecting the orgasmic charge. They understand the importance of closing the Tantric circle and returning orgasmic essence to the source of origination, before spending orgasmic energy with anyone outside the Tantric circle. Read more
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Patients with heart disease who practised Transcendental Meditation cut their chances of a heart attack, stroke and death by half, compared with non-meditating patients, the first study of its kind has found.
Stress is a major factor in heart disease and meditation experts say the technique can help control it. Read more
Saturday, November 14, 2009
... Here is a list of my top five Kashmiri Principles – at least my top five in this moment. For each one, I included a quote from the Vijnana Bhairava (See reference at the end of this article) that will allow us to examine this principle more fully and experience it first hand.
For those who are new to reading transmissions, I suggest that you simply relax and read it without trying to understand. Just ‘let them in” to work their magic.
With each verse, I give an example of how I might use the principle. Read more
Thursday, November 12, 2009
To best experience Yoga Nidra Meditation techniques...
It's easy! Experience Nidra Meditations by recording the following step-by-step instructions. Turn on your recorder, and read aloud the following online script. Read more
- two or three hours after a meal
- use semi-darkness with the room temperature at your comfort level
- blanket to keep you warm
- may place pillows under the head and knee's
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Deeper connection. Sustained passion. A sense of one with your partner. Tantalizing sex. A merging of the sexual and the spiritual. These are just of the reasons I’ve been intrigued by the idea of tantric sexuality. And yet, it is a topic that until recently, I didn’t much talk about because there is quite a bit of mystery surround the idea, and might I just also suggest this: many people may be uncomfortable with the idea that sexuality and spirituality may be connected in ways deeper than the idea that God commanded us to procreate. What if sexuality is actually one way to become closer to God? What if, in the moment of orgasm, we have the opportunity to feel the presence, the kiss of the divine upon our flesh and within our souls? If that intrigues you, continue reading. Even if it doesn't, go ahead. Read more
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Ancient tantra practices are a means of using the natural concentration of intense passionate desire to direct our minds beyond ourselves. The purpose of learning tantra was never to justify sexual addiction or hypocrisy – rather, these practices are meant to boost general well-being as well as specific psycho-spiritual abilities. For this reason, I suggest that my students imagine their energy being released through the tops of their heads after ending their daily spiritual experience.
Tantra utilizes all our energies, and our inherent sexual energy is a very powerful and potent force that can also be harnessed for various spiritual goals and achievements. Understanding the secrets of tantra with the help of a qualified tantra master can help create a very sensual and deep connection with your partner; this connection can be used to transcend awareness of mind and body, and to be totally present in the moment. Tantra scriptures ask us to find the right partner to practice these exercises in a transformative, consciousness-raising process.
I give here a specific tantra exercise that helps us build unlimited sexual stamina with sensuous breathing. This particular exercise must be done on an empty stomach, early in the morning. Read more
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Mantras can help with stress reduction, new research shows.
Mantras, or mantrams, are a word or phrase with spiritual meaning, write Jill Bormann, PhD, RN, and colleagues in the Journal of Advanced Nursing.
The researchers studied 30 veterans and 36 hospital workers at the Veterans Affairs San Diego Healthcare System, where Bormann is a research nurse scientist. In a five-week class, participants chose a mantra and learned to use it to manage stress.
The study shows that the majority of participants used their mantras to help them cope with a wide range of problems, including anxiety, stress from traffic and work, insomnia, and unwanted thoughts. Read more
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Researchers from the University of the West of Scotland conducted a study on the correlation between the way women walk and whether or not they are vaginally orgasmic. After coming up with a set of criteria by which to judge, they set about filming 20 women walking. Half of the women were vaginally orgasmic (intercourse with no added, direct clitoral stimulation) and the other half self identified as not being vaginally orgasmic.
When the researchers asked the therapists previously trained with this set of criteria to identify the women whom they thought were vaginally orgasmic, they accurately identified 80 percent after watching them walk. The criteria involved how freely the women walked, their open, easy gait and the hip-to-leg rotation relationship of each woman. "This could reflect the free, unblocked energetic flow from the legs through the pelvis to the spine," the authors note. Basically, the more open, easy, freewheeling and swinging the woman's walk was, the more orgasmic potential she has, according to this study.
According to Stuart Brody, one of the authors of the study, "Blocked pelvic muscles, which might be associated with psychosexual impairments, could both impair vaginal orgasmic response and gait." Vaginally orgasmic women might also feel more confident about their sexuality, and their gait may reflect this feeling. Better mental health has been linked with vaginal orgasm in other current research. "Such confidence might also be related to the relationships that a woman has had, given the finding that specifically penile-vaginal orgasm is associated with indices of better relationship quality," say the authors. Read more
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
"Tantric Sex" is one of those phrases, like Astral Projection or Tibetan Meditation, that most of us have heard but few of us can explain in any detail. But really, Tantric Sex isn't as scary or difficult or mystical as it sounds. It's just a way of sharing with your partner and using your body to achieve a richer sexual experience. Here are four easy steps you can take to achieve a tantric-like sexual experience. Read more
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
"The single most important key to sex that I've yet discovered is conscious rhythmic breathing; the more you breathe the more you feel and the more you come alive. Many of us breathe only enough to survive but not to live fully. Deep breathing is a door to waking up to healing and to more personal freedom."-- Annie Sprinkle, PhD., Tantrica & Ex-Porn StarBreathing doesn't seem very sexy but it's the key to orgasmic pleasure and self-empowerment for women and to lasting longer for men. The benefits of learning new, simple ways of breathing are extraordinary and have direct health benefits, too. Breathing deeply into your belly increases relaxation, decreases tension and stress, helps women focus on pleasure and puts more oxygen into your blood stream. Oxygen is what delivers the 'O' in Orgasm. Read more
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Lissa and Michael are on a mission to change the world, one orgy at a time. And their plan just might work. Michael is a modern day priest of Dionysus, the mythological Greek god of wine, who is most notorious as the inspirer of ritual madness and ecstasy. The ancient Romans called him Bacchus, and made him the patron deity of agriculture and the theater. He was also known as the Liberator – the god who helps free the human spirit through ecstasy, or wine. Of course that was back in the days when Jesus could turn water into wine without anyone suggesting that he should go to an AA meeting. Even today many Christians sip a bit of wine, portraying it as the symbolic blood of Christ. One can't help but think that the dynamic duo of Bacchus and Jesus might have been a lot of fun at parties. "Wine, women, and salvation" has a rather nice ring to it.
A lot has changed over the past 2000 years, but the human thirst for spiritual enlightenment and liberation is still a powerful force in all cultures of the world. And, as the internet and other forms of modern media prove on a daily basis, we still have an insatiable interest in sex. Wouldn't it be nice if our spiritual lives and our sexual lives could team up and provide a whole new meaning to the idea of a "church social"? Indeed, this is roughly the sort of vision that Michael, Lissa, and other Pagans wish to share with the world. Sex, they would say, is sacred and should be celebrated as an integral part of our social and spiritual lives. Read more
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Sexual energy is the life force moving through the whole body and when it flows easily, it energizes all energy centers. However, sexual energy can get stuck, particularly if the heart center is afflicted. When someone relates to sex addictively, it is often because of significant blocks or leaks in one or more of the energy centers.
For the next few blogs, I will explore dilemmas associated with each energy center, progressing from the base of the spine to the crown of the head. These areas are:
- Permission: Healing the Cultural Wounding Read more
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Tantra is the combination of tattva ( the advanced science of cosmic principles ), and mantra ( the sciences of mystic sound and energy vibrations ) and its various applications. Authentic Tantra is based on the harmonization of this combination, raising its intensity to unlimited potency.
It has a wide range of practical techniques applicable by men and women of every spiritual level. It aims at turning every action into a practice of love.
Here is a basic tantric bonding meditation: Perform this meditation with your lover, for 15 minutes every day. Read more
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy by Mantak Chia (with Michael Winn) was my first introduction to the wisdom of making love without striving for orgasm. Chia, a neo-Daoist master, teaches men another way to manage their sexual energy, as well as the weakness in humanity's current habits. His book greatly expanded my understanding of my role as a lover, helping me to become a safer lover.
However, even before I stumbled upon the ancient account of Daoist lovemaking in the work ascribed to the famous Daoist sage, Laozi (Lao Tzu), I realized that there was an inherent inconsistency in Chia’s teachings. The mystical, merging experience which he calls “the valley orgasm” is a state of “not doing.” Yet, much of Chia’s book is about performance-oriented techniques, such as clenching the teeth, the buttocks and the muscles around the prostate gland, counting intercourse strokes, and so forth. These vigorous measures permit a skilled man to approach the edge of orgasm, and then maintain his control sufficiently to make love rather vigorously…indefinitely. Read more
Thursday, October 8, 2009
In what sounds like a plot from an animated sci-fi film, I've just found a remarkable study where Japanese researchers put a Yoga Master in a brain scanner and fired lasers at him because he claimed not to be able to feel pain while meditating.
It turns out that he showed significantly less brain activity in areas typically activated by pain when meditating. Read more
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
There is a day and night difference between the three types of tantric. They are totally different in quality, quantity, direction, practices, methods, facets, and use.” –Yogi BhajanYogi Bhajan was referring to the White, Pink and Red paths of Tantra. Now that TantraTantra-Palooza is almost upon us, you will have an opportunity to sample a wide range of teachers and styles. So we were inspired to create a quiz to help you determine which type of tantra is best for you: Read more
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Is it sexy to be spiritual? New research has found that spirituality has a greater effect on the sex lives of young adults — especially women — than religion, impulsivity, or alcohol.
“I think people have been well aware of the role that religious and spiritual matters play in everyday life for a very long time,” said Jessica Burris, one of the study’s researchers at the University of Kentucky. “But in the research literature, the unique qualities of spirituality — apart from religiousness — are not usually considered.”
According to a research measure known as the Spiritual Transcendence Scale, those qualities are connectedness, universality, and prayer fulfillment. But the data found that of the three, connectedness plays the largest role in spiritual sexuality and leads to more sex with more partners, often without the use of condoms. Read more
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Do you want to know why women have sex with men with tiny little feet? I am stroking a book called Why Women Have Sex. It is by Cindy Meston, a clinical psychologist, and David Buss, an evolutionary psychologist. It is a very thick, bulging book. I've never really wondered Why Women Have Sex. But after years of not asking the question, the answer is splayed before me.
Meston and Buss have interviewed 1,006 women from all over the world about their sexual motivation, and in doing so they have identified 237 different reasons why women have sex. Not 235. Not 236. But 237. And what are they? From the reams of confessions, it emerges that women have sex for physical, emotional and material reasons; to boost their self-esteem, to keep their lovers, or because they are raped or coerced. Love? That's just a song. We are among the bad apes now. Read more
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
... The Tantrics and Taoists, in particular, have developed, over thousands of years, simple, relatively easy and obviously fun techniques to help men train themselves to last longer, choose when they might ejaculate (or not) and experience multiple orgasms without ejaculating. Orgasm and ejaculation are two separate physiological experiences. They don't necessarily go together, it just seems that way.
The interesting part about achieving ejaculation mastery is that it is the basic practices of self-control and breathing that is fundamental to success. The same is true for learning yoga and meditation. Breathing, focus and the self-control to move forward and accomplish each step to mastery is the universal 'juice' to many of life's worthier practices. Read more
Saturday, September 19, 2009
The Llewellyn Journal: Dr. Mumford, your initiated name is Swami Anandakapila Saraswati. Your first book, Psychosomatic Yoga, was published in 1962. At that time there was very little interest in the spirituality of the East, although it exploded during that decade. Why do you think the popularity of Eastern spirituality has grown over the past 40 years?
Dr. Jonn Mumford: The 1960s represented a tremendous opening of the Western mind to concepts of Yoga, particularly through the popularization of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and his popular Transcendental Meditation or "TM" movement.
However, the soil in America had already been richly fertilized by Swami Vivekananda visiting at the turn of the nineteenth century and then by Swami Rama Tirtha who visited America shortly after Vivekananda. It is also worth remembering that American counter-cultural movements from the transcendentalists to the beats were drawn to Hindu and Buddhist philosophy. But it was not until the 1960s that teachings became widely available to the general public.
There is a popular belief is that no one, outside India, attempted to practice or integrate Tantra until the Post World War II period. However in 1906 the "Tantrik Order In America" published the International Journal: Tantrik Order. The copy I saw was a lush, 200-page journal. It had a cover in rich red, gold, and black, and was full of translations of Tantric texts and articles eulogizing love. Read more
Research is continually showing that meditation is beneficial to our life and our health. Meditation helps us to take a distance from what is going on in our mind and our life rather than constantly being immersed and controlled by it. It helps us to be more focused and reduces stress. Opening your heart is a simple step you can take towards accepting things as they are and being more open to others and the blessings of life. This is a meditation that can be used each morning to center yourself and to open your awareness in a positive way.
Start by quietly sitting and focusing on your breathing. Relax and allow your breath to come naturally in and out. Begin by focusing your breathing toward the area of the heart. This means that your mental focus as well as your breathing focus is in the area of your heart behind your breast bone. Take ten minutes to sit and focus your heart breathing while you let your mind experience the feelings that arise when you allow your heart to be open and activated by your breath. Read more
Thursday, September 17, 2009
... Over the past 20 years, the term "Tantra" has become equivalent with sex. But those who think Tantra equals sex may miss the point. While there are some advanced practices involving intercourse, Tantra is not an assortment of sexual techniques and positions designed to produce bigger, longer and better orgasms.
The point of tantric practice lies beyond the techniques and methods, when we are 100% present, our mind stops, our ego disappears, we become one with all, and enter into vast emptiness and stillness. Then we are absorbed in the blissful state of being. Some think that they can only get there in sex, that's why there's been such a focus on Tantra's sexual practices. But the good news is that we can bring this ecstatic experience into all aspects of our life! That's where tantric practice really begins. Read more
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Hindus are strongly critical of “Hollywood types” who apparently think and describe of Tantra as just sex.
Acclaimed Hindu statesman Rajan Zed, in a statement in Nevada (USA) today, said that Tantrism was a major channel in Indian religious traditions and besides Hinduism, it also exerted considerable influence on Buddhism and Jainism. Sankaracharya had mentioned the names of 64 Tantras.
Few days back, musician-model-actress Coco Sumner (Stardust) contradicted the tantric-sex sessions of her parents Oscar nominated musician Sting (Cold Mountain) and actress-producer Trudie Styler (Moving the Mountain); MTV award winner Heather Graham (The Hangover) recently claimed of venturing into tantric sexual healing; BAFTA winner Scarlett Johansson (Lost in Translation) reportedly practiced the art of tantric sex with boyfriend; the stories circulating about Sting and his wife Trudie having marathon eight-hour tantric-sex sessions for many years; Oscar nominated Woody Harrelson (The People vs. Larry Flynt) reportedly had been linked to it; referred to in television and movies like ”Meet the Fockers”, “Sex and the City”, ”American Pie”, etc. Read more
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
While millions of people around the world are familiar with Tantric sex and may even have a copy of the Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana in their night table, few are aware that there are a number of other far more advanced Eastern sex-enhancing techniques and manuals in existence. One technique of particular interest and practical applicability dating to the second century A. D. Mahayana Period is a nearly-forgotten penis-lengthening method known as Yugmapad-Asana. Literally translated as “posture to enlarge penis to service large vagina women,” this technique was once the purview of wandering yogis who are said to have traveled the Asian countryside scantily clad or naked, practicing their ascetic disciplines and demonstrating their prowess in this sacred, transcendental technique. Then as now, this method–once mastered–can add a dimension of satisfaction to a sexual encounter hitherto unknown to most couples, and can virtually save a relationship involving the sexual satisfaction of an older woman. Read more
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Sex Magic! What is it? How does it work? Actually, does it really work? It's been talked about and practiced in some places on the globe for millennia. Yet what relevance and implications does it have for us today?
I came across sex magic in the context of my tantric studies and teacher training a number of years ago. That is when I learned about the power of sexual energy as creative force and how to cultivate and channel that energy. I learned to marry my orgasmic energy with an intention to manifest what I wanted to bring into reality. Read more
Saturday, September 5, 2009
I often teach that to find where the G-spot is in a woman, and how it might feel, you can simply put your thumb in your mouth and feel the rougher, ridged area just beyond your teeth, on the top part of your mouth. Beyond that ridged area is the upper palate and halfway between the ridges and the upper palate is the area that is analogous to the G-spot. I find it fascinating that the interior of the mouth seems so close in structure to the yoni (vagina in Sanskrit) and the G-spot area. Read more
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Newly-wed Roman Catholic couples are being encouraged to say a special prayer together before having sex.
The specially-composed Prayer Before Making Love is aimed at 'purifying their intentions' so the act is not about selfishness or hedonism. Read more
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
The man wears the Snuggie on his back and keeps his partner warm. Perfect for long winter nights, cold winter mornings and when your partner is sedated. Read more
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Why is New Age spirituality so prevalent in the sex- positive community?
A few weeks ago, I wrote a piece on this blog about my skeptical, materialist, atheist, entire non- spiritual view of sexual transcendence, and why you don’t need to see sex as metaphysical to see it as magnificent and meaningful.
I deliberately didn’t make the piece critical of spirituality and religion. Partly, that simply wasn’t the point of the piece: the point wasn’t to tear down the spiritual view of sex, but to offer an alternative to it. And partly, I’ll admit, it was because many of my friends and allies in the sex community have spiritual beliefs about sex, in some cases deeply held spiritual beliefs, and I was gun-shy about alienating them.
But I recently gave an interview to Greg Fish of the Weird Things blog, who read the piece and wanted to talk with me about it. And what Greg mostly wanted to know was the very question I’d been deliberately avoiding. He wanted to know why, in my opinion, so many people in the sex- positive community are so heavily invested in associating sex with spirituality and religion.
This is an attempt to answer that question. Read more
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Taoism, Hinduism, Buddhism, North American Quodoshka, and others, hold secrets to creating fulfilling love and intimacy that are not known to the Western world. One of these ancient traditions is Tantra which was born over 5000 years ago in East India and practiced by people that called themselves tantriks or tantrikas. You might wonder "What is it and how does it work?"
Here is a taste of what it's all about: In the Western world we look at our bodies, relationships and life in a way that is often compartmentalized. For example, we think of sexuality being separate from spirituality - as manifested in our bodies and our practices. In Tantra a possibility is offered that teaches how to integrate one's sexual with one's spiritual energies. This allows for a divine experience with oneself and ultimately with a partner. Rediscovering our innate energies that are sexual-spiritual in nature we then are able to express ourselves more fully - free from constraints and habitual patterns, e.g., shame, guilt, fear, suppression or obsession. And this in turn allows us to experience our full potential of pleasure and creativity. Read more
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
One of the ways a woman gives herself a relaxing treat is by soaking in a long, hot bath so you can take this opportunity to really giver her a treat by preparing a bath for her. Of course, with other ‘extra treats’ as only you can provide.
How to Prepare a ‘Proper’ Bath for Her
No guys, a bath is not just filling the tub with hot water and pouring some bubble bath solution in it. If you’re going to do this, do it good and create the right ambiance for her.
First, close the windows and blinds and submerge the whole bathroom in darkness. Next, light some candles. They can be scented or not depending on what you use for the… scented oil you want to place on the burner or oil diffuser. Read more
Saturday, August 15, 2009
This morning . . . well I only had so much time. I had to pick up the car from the repair shop, make lunch for my son, clean, and go to the city to consult. Yet, I was feeling out of sorts, and disconnected from my love. What to do?
THE SACRED QUICKIE!
What’s the difference between a quickie and a sacred quickie? Read more
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Inner Fire Yoga, or Tum-mo, is the basic method used in the advanced stage of most tantra systems. When doing this practice, we will need to visualize our body in a certain way. This is called the "Vajra Body" and incorporating it into our self-image provides a useful way to work with our bodily energies. The structures visualized are not actually there when the body is autopsied. There are correlates with our physical bodies, yet that is only part of the picture. When we close our eyes and feel our bodies, it is hard to deny that different parts of the body have different energies and feelings. In any case, to do the practices, one needs to suspend disbelief and visualize the postulated structures and energies. After extended practice, the visualizations become internalized and become powerful tools for calming ourselves, connecting with the body and channeling energy. Read more
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
It is true that our relationship with sexuality is complicated by everything that makes us human. We are all experts on our own experience, so in that regard, everyone who speaks for themselves is absolutely right. Since we are all influenced by culture and ours is particularly ambivalent about sex, much of our feelings about the subject get reflected in attitudes: the meaning we attach to sex. I know there are other models of sexuality and the one most prevalent in popular media is the Biological model. The attempt to reduce sex to physical and chemical components, a bit like plumbing systems, is perhaps a way to control the mystery of it all; but the mystery is what makes sex so interesting. As a colleague of mine, Dr. Leonore Tiefer said, to limit sexuality to biology makes it more like digestion than dancing. I choose dancing.
Let's start with the experience of sexual energy. You can try this exercise by yourself. It helps if you know how to do pelvic rocking. Lie down with your knees bent, feet about hip distance apart, and your low back flat on the floor (don't try this if you have back problems). As you rock your pelvis back with a slight arch, breathe in and as you tuck your pelvis, breathe out. Do this for just a few minutes and then lower your knees, straightening them to rest on the floor and continue breathing. Visualize energy moving up your spine with the in-breath and moving down the front of your body with the out breath. Read more
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Eleven minutes: that's the estimated time most couples spend making love and sometimes its not even much fun. Between one quarter and one half of long term relationships are beset with low desire and it is common for spouses to find other sexual outlets. We are living in a time when all the marital roles and rules have changed and old solutions don't seem to be working.
So imagine living in a culture where sex was sacred and not a sin and sexuality was seen as a positive expression of the life force. This perspective was the norm in many cultures pre-dating Greek and Roman times and these societies date back 30,000 years. Even as late as 3,500 years ago those who lived on the island of Crete recognized sexual pleasure as a wonderful way to connect with spirit, renew the abundance of the land, and unite deeply with one another. In this culture sexuality was widely understood as a pathway to spiritual ecstasy. Read more
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Terisa Greenan and her boyfriend, Matt, are enjoying a rare day of Seattle sun, sharing a beet carpaccio on the patio of a local restaurant. Matt holds Terisa's hand, as his 6-year-old son squeezes in between the couple to give Terisa a kiss. His mother, Vera, looks over and smiles; she's there with her boyfriend, Larry. Suddenly it starts to rain, and the group must move inside. In the process, they rearrange themselves: Matt's hand touches Vera's leg. Terisa gives Larry a kiss. The child, seemingly unconcerned, puts his arms around his mother and digs into his meal.
Terisa and Matt and Vera and Larry—along with Scott, who's also at this dinner—are not swingers, per se; they aren't pursuing casual sex. Nor are they polygamists of the sort portrayed on HBO's Big Love; they aren't religious, and they don't have multiple wives. But they do believe in "ethical nonmonogamy," or engaging in loving, intimate relationships with more than one person—based upon the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. They are polyamorous, to use the term of art applied to multiple-partner families like theirs, and they wouldn't want to live any other way. Read more
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
It's a piece of advice that yogis have given for thousands of years: take a deep breath and relax. Watch the tension melt from your muscles and all your niggling worries vanish. Somehow we all know that relaxation is good for us. Now the hard science has caught up – for a comprehensive scientific study showing that deep relaxation changes our bodies on a genetic level has just been published.
What researchers at Harvard Medical School discovered is that, in long-term practitioners of relaxation methods such as yoga and meditation, far more "disease-fighting genes" were active, compared to those who practised no form of relaxation.
In particular, they found genes that protect from disorders such as pain, infertility, high blood pressure and even rheumatoid arthritis were switched on. Read more
Thursday, July 23, 2009
My previous misconceptions of Tantric sex involving marathon coupling sessions that only Sting has time for, have given way to a new found respect. This is an ancient Indian practice that promises increased energy.
Tantric sex also helps provide a sense of well-being and greater intimacy for couples - physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Tantra believes sex is a life force and a route to heightened awareness. The secret lies in relaxation and physical sensitivity, rather than just seeking sensation and stimulation. Read more
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
For well over 1000 years, people all over the planet how utilized the powerful techniques of Tantric sexuality to enhance their sensual pleasures and emotional satisfaction. They not only develop the skills necessary to have mind-blowing, long-lasting orgasms time and again, but they also open their minds and find that they are able to enjoy every aspect of their lives more fully. You see, Tantra is about more than just incredible sex; it has a lot to do with enjoying all of the pleasures of life in whatever forms they may materialize. Read more
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
On the list of life's greatest pleasures, massages rank up there with wine and chocolate. But a good rubdown does more than just ease achy muscles. Depending on the technique, it can melt away stress, get you in the mood for sex, or function as an especially erotic kind of foreplay. "Massage is the ultimate bonding experience," says certified massage therapist Lisa Skye Carle. "Pampering each other feels nurturing and intimate, and you're bound to discover loads of new and unexpected erogenous zones along the way—it's the ultimate primer for sex." Whether you want to wind down or get all wound up, there's a massage here to meet your needs. Read more
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
The Venus Butterfly. It made its debut on TV legal drama LA Law, when— during the 1986 Thanksgiving episode—script writers Steven Bochco and Terry Louise Fisher referred to a mysterious sex technique that guarantees a woman endless, repeated climaxes. The day after Thanksgiving the media was buzzing with talk of the trick, and every loving couple across the nation was wondering how to do it. But hey, it's just an urban myth, right?
Maybe... maybe not. Ever since that fateful day, sexologists, therapists and writers have made attempted to define this holy grail of sex acts. So does it exist? And if so, does it work? Read more
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Yet, after over two years online, my post 6 Penetrating Positions for a Small Penis still consistently ranks as one of my top posts. I also regularly get emails from men concerned about their penis size. Often, they ask what the correct way to measure a penis is. They seem to hope that their own measurements were done incorrectly and that there is another way to measure which will reveal that they are actually average-sized or even large compared to other men.
Frankly, as a woman I'm sometimes tempted to tell these men to grow up and get over it, but I know that really isn't fair and certainly isn't an answer to their perceived problem. Many women are just as self-conscious about their breast size as any man is about his penis size and just as convinced that all their relationship problems would be solved if they only had bigger breasts.
Many women choose to have breast augmentation surgery done to increase their breast size. Is there a safe and effective method to enlarge the penis? Svetlana Ivanova discusses natural penis enlargement and reveals why she's convinced that penis enlargement exercises may be the answer for some men:
... Does natural penis enlargement really work? I can't speak directly from personal experience, lacking the equipment to do so. However, I know that penis enlargement exercises work for at least some men because a former lover – after I commented of the size of his penis – confessed that he had used them to increase his penis size an inch and a half. I can't think of any possible reason for a man to say that unless it were true. Read more
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
I have been practicing eye gazing a lot lately. Yesterday I did a session for an hour. I have been practicing with both men and women. Each experience has been beautiful and profound. This simple practice cuts though all illusion and opens the doors to Truth. If this was the only Tantric practice you ever did I believe you could reach enlightenment. While it is usually done with a partner it can also be done solo in a mirror. I discovered the mirror gazing when I was 13. Give it a try and let me know what you discover. Read more
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Kundalini tantra yoga practice is essentially the high art of awakening the chakras to promote rapid spiritual advancement and personal mastery. It is is a misunderstanding to think of tantra yoga as just sexual yoga. Although there is an entire segment of this science dedicated to the use of sex as a means of awakening kundalini to accelerate spiritual evolution, tantra yoga is much more than just that. In fact, Kundalini Yoga (Hindu or Sikh versions) is actually Kundalini Tantra Yoga, and is essentially the use of tantric techniques to purify the body, balance the chakras and awaken kundalini.
The Tantra Yoga technique that I will detail today, is an example of a tantric technique which falls into the subcategory of sexual tantra, but as you will see, it is consistent with the overall aim of tantra yoga practice, which is to purify and balance the chakra system. If you are not familiar with chakras, you can first read the following article: Kundalini Yoga Seven Chakra System Overview.
Previously I have detailed a very powerful tantic technique, which when practiced sincerely and consistently, helps you raise the vibration of your sexual energy and helps you master your sexual dimension. You can read the details of that technique in the article: Ultimate Tantric Yoga Technique to Raise Sexual Energy - Sat Kriya. The practice I will detail today, is more subtle than Sat Kriya, but it is also an excellent tantric technique to help you harness and master your sexual energies. This technique is called Vajroli Mudra, and it is a fundamental part of tantra yoga practice. Read more
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
One of the most powerful ways for two people to make love is called soft-style lovemaking. This is a more feminine approach to lovemaking. It requires a certain amount of skill on the part of the man but is well worth the time invested to learn.
Tantric lovemaking is vastly different from what most people consider lovemaking. Tantric lovemaking is about merging body, mind, heart, and soul as one. In Tantric lovemaking there are no limits to where you can go since it is primarily about directing the expansion of your sexual energy upward as well as throughout your entire body. With this as a primary focus, the play between two people becomes one of deepening intimacy and connection and of opening the body to more and more blissful states of ecstasy and expanded states of awareness. Read more
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
In a beginner's guide to Tantric sex, a YouTube video shows a fully-clothed couple demonstrating the "yabyum" position. She sits on his lap, staring deeply into his eyes, as they harmonize their breathing, stopping and starting their undulations in a slow method known as "riding the wave."
The ancient Hindi practice -- reportedly embraced by rocker Sting and his wife Trudy, actress Heather Graham and impresario Sean "Diddy" Combs -- has been dubbed the "gateway to ecstasy." Read more
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Sleep on this: You'd have better sex if you were a loose woman. Limbering up with yoga will help you build a strong, supple body — and that leads to a lot more action in the bedroom, says Ellen Barrett, author of Sexy Yoga. "Yoga increases flexibility, which helps you to be free and just go for it in sex," she says. Here are five more reasons you should hit the mat before you hit the sack. Read more
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Tantric lovemaking is not only about having hours of intercourse. A tantric connection includes the seduction, the intimacy building, the eye gazing, the erotic energy exchange, the touching, the kissing, the honoring of each other’s body, the intercourse and the afterglow… and each part can take a long time depending how creative you are willing or in the mood to be.
It’s important to know that you can stop this connection at any time and yet feel relaxed and fulfilled because you did not have a goal to “come”; the desire was to connect and to exchange energy in a conscious way, which is always very sexy and uplifting. Read more
Thursday, June 11, 2009
You want enlightened sexual bliss. But what does it take to get there? Far from unattainable, lovers of various spiritual traditions are seeking it via Taoist sexuality. What started out as a branch of Chinese philosophy and medicine, Taoist sex has been regarded as sacred sex for five thousand years.
The rewards it offers are huge. Sexual union is seen as key to health, longevity, and spiritual perfection. Equally appealing — practitioners claim greater sexual pleasure and sensations, stronger orgasms, and heightened spiritual energy in this earthly form of a greater cosmic dance.
Here are some of the secrets Taoist “pillow books” have been spilling when it comes to greater pleasure pursuits: Read more
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
... I first got into it when I was filming The Guru in 2002 and I haven't looked back. What most people know about tantric sex is that Sting does it and it lasts eight hours. But he's not having sex continually. You can take a bath, massage your partner, listen to music. The idea is that you let the whole thing build very slowly until finally you merge with your partner. It works for me. Read more
Saturday, June 6, 2009
A woman trained in the art of pompoir is called a Kabbazah in the Middle East. The word Kabbazah translates to “one who holds." Men say that pompoir feels like having a warm, soft, wet, velvet-gloved hand wrapped around their lingam, firmly gripping it and stroking them into the most delicious sexual nirvana they have ever experienced.
The PC Muscle Routine
In order to practice pompoir, your PC and pelvic floor muscles must be trained to improve their strength and performance. Locate the PC muscles by inserting a finger into your yoni and trying to squeeze your finger. Make sure you’re not also tensing your thighs, buttocks, or anal muscles. Then try these exercises:
1) The short squeeze. Contract the PC muscles 10 times at approximately one squeeze per second. Inhale gently as you contract and exhale when you release. Start with two sets of 10. Gradually build up to two sets of 50 a day.
2) The long squeeze. Hold the muscle contraction for a count of three. Relax between contractions. Work up to holding for 10 seconds and relaxing for 10 seconds. Start with two sets of 10 each and gradually build up to two sets of 50.
3) Pull-in, push-out. Pull up the entire pelvic floor as though trying to suck water into the yoni, and then push out or bear down as if trying to push the water out. This exercise uses the abdominal muscles as well as the PC muscles. Do this five times in a row. Build up to 10 sets.
4) The elevator. Imagine that there’s an elevator in your pelvic region and that you want to raise it up floor by floor. Starting at the ground floor, go up to the first floor, then up the second floor, and last, to the third floor. Then gradually allow the “elevator” to go back down, stopping at each floor. Once you get to the ground floor, completely relax the muscles you’ve just exercised. Start with one set of 10 repetitions and build up to five sets of 10.
You can break up your exercises and do them in two or more sessions daily (in fact, I would recommend it) and still get the same benefits as long as you complete the total number of repetitions. Vary your position from standing, to sitting, to kneeling, to sitting in order to completely exercise the pelvic floor muscles.
As you perfect these exercises and strengthen the muscles, you’ll begin to notice that you can isolate groups of muscles in your pelvic floor. This enables you to isolate your clitoris, for instance, and stimulate yourself at any time.
Milking the Lingam
1) The best positions for pompoir are women on top and sitting positions, such as Yab-Yum.
2) Begin by having your man lie down. He should relax and remain passive, letting you do the work.
3) Stimulate him until he is erect. Once he is erect, insert his lingam into your yoni.
4) He is not to thrust or move his lingam in any fashion. He should remain as still as he can.
5) Once his lingam is inserted and you’re in position, either straddling him or sitting in his lap, you should try to not move your pelvis. Your only movements should come from contracting your yoni using your pompoir skills.
6) You may kiss and caress each other freely, but no thrusting or rocking.
7) Flex and contract your PC muscles in various patterns until you feel his lingam throbbing. (With Kegel exercises, the yoni becomes more sensitive.) This should occur after 10 to 15 minutes and is an indication of his intense arousal.
8) Get the feel of his throbbing lingam and time your squeezing and releasing with his throbbing. Squeeze and release as fast as you can as he nears ejaculation.
9) Keep “milking” his lingam as he climaxes, which will make him feel as if the ejaculate is being pulled from his body - a thrilling sensation for both of you.
10) After his orgasm, keep flexing and relaxing your PC muscles and build up to your own climax. Add additional clitoral stimulation with your fingers as needed and keep flexing until you are satisfied.
For experienced Tantra practitioners, combining pompoir in the Yab-Yum position with eye gazing may propel you and your partner to new heights of sexual ecstasy and spiritual connection. Enjoy.
Being able to give your man pleasure by caressing, fondling, gripping, massaging, and milking his lingam without using your hands is enough reason for a woman to learn pompoir. However, developing the PC muscles used to do the gripping also increases a woman's orgasm frequency, intensity, and variety. For most women, orgasm is centered in the clitoris, but with proper exercise not only does your clitoral orgasm improve, you develop the ability to experience vaginal, multiple, and ejaculating orgasms.
Tantric Sex: A Guide to Tantra Lovemaking Secrets and Practices is filled with techniques that are guaranteed to increase your sexual pleasure. Learn how to revolutionize your sex life with Tantric secrets and practices that will bring you to the furthest reaches of sexual and emotional fulfillment. To discover new ways to connect with your partner and revel in orgasms that are whole-body experiences, click here.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Whether or not a woman ejaculates is an indicator of possible trauma or abuse and shows how a woman holds back in her life or relationships. Holding back is not wrong. A woman’s defenses have come into place in her being for a divine reason known only to her and her psyche and are there to protect her and maintain her integrity. They are to be honored.
The time, place and people and the place must be safe for her, that’s why it’s so important to create the container for this sacred event. Create that which she needs in order for it to be appropriate for her to let down her guard.
In tantra, the goal is GOALESSNESS, especially when it involves female ejaculation which is extremely personal, intense and involves a high degree of openness and vulnerability for both the giver and receiver. This sacred ritual deserves to be honored and respected and not put into the arena of a circus show. Getting a woman to ejaculate is not an indicator of a man’s sexual prowess and a woman’s ability to ejaculate is not yet another area where women can compare themselves and feel inferior to a man or even other women.
It takes a woman longer to get aroused than a man. So in order to get synchronized, in tantric sex we always give the woman at least one orgasm before intercourse. Read more
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
... My purpose here is to explore the many ways how men have also been wounded- such as the lack of sexual initiation, circumcision or social factors- and to suggest some initial steps men can take to begin healing.
I have worked privately with over a thousand men as an instructor of basic Tantric and Taoist practices and as a sexual healer over the last ten years. I have loved many men in my life, including six younger brothers. However, I must admit that it is with a limited confidence that I approach the subject of male sexual woundings because I am not in a man's body. I can't access the same cellular memory as when I talk about women. Nevertheless, I have seen, felt and heard men's woundings and the unnecessary suffering that results from having a penis.
Attempting to understand how a man experiences himself as a sexual being requires that we take a closer look at how we've all been wounded. Read more
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
In the Tantric pantheon of characters, the primary god is Shiva, and the primary goddess is Shakti. They stand as principles rather than religious icons, representing the female and male, or Yin and Yang. Their dance of partnership keeps the universe in balance, and they bring the same metaphor to modern couples.
In our sexual lives, the Shakti energy of passion and creativity comes forth in positions that put the woman on top and in control of the action. These "woman superior" positions are excellent for G-spot stimulation and enable a more powerful sexual response from many women, who can subtly move their bodies to angle the pelvis and yoni (Sanskrit for "vagina") for maximum stimulation. Read more
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
... So how do you burn up that stress hormone, relax your body, and enjoy life and sex again? Two ways... the first is to go along with your body's urge for fight or flight (ie physical exercise), so that your body releases endorphins that suppress the further release of stress hormones. This also can release testosterone, which increases sexual arousal in both sexes.
The second way, which allows both men and women to *enjoy* sex more, and have better orgasms, is by re-awakening the sensory nerves in the skin and muscles through special breathing, sensory awareness, and relaxation. Together, these three tell the body, "the danger is over, go back to your normal state."
The fastest way to hit this natural "reset button" is by changing your breathing. Any deep diaphragmic breathing will begin to relax you. Stressed breathing is rapid chest breathing. Slow down the breath and breath with your belly and lower back like a baby, and your half way there. Read more
Monday, May 18, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
“Wrapped into each others’ body and energy fields – bliss, trust and relaxation.”
To connect with yourself, your partner, or a friend; to relax deeply, to share love
There is always enough time for the Sacred Embrace, even when you think you’re just too busy! It only takes a minute (or three), will elevate your being and reactivate your connection with spirit and your partner instantly. Read more
Friday, May 8, 2009
Background: Sodarshan Chakra Kriya (set) was taught to me by my Kundalini Yoga teacher Ravi Singh who studied it under the guidance of Yogi Bhajan. It dates back a few thousand years and is reputed among all the known Yogas, including Kundalini Yoga, to be the most powerful Pranayama exercise there is. You will notice that it is called a kriya, although a kriya typically is a complete set of asanas and yogic exercises (see Introduction to Kundalini Yoga for more information on kriyas and how Kundalini Yoga works in general), it also applies in some cases to a single exercise, which is very complete in and of itself. Sodarshan Chakra Kriya is a pranayama exercise that is exactly that, very complete and also very powerful.
Benefits of Sodharshan Chakra Kriya: The superlatives describing Sodarshan Chakra Kriya are lavish to say the least. In Yoga terms it will give you Nao Niddhi (the nine precious virtues) and Artha Siddhi (the 18 occult powers). Read more