Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The Art of Receiving Pleasure

Most of us are not talented receivers when it comes to love, says Wendy Strgar.
“There is a secret about human love that is commonly overlooked: Receiving it is much more scary and threatening than giving it. How many times in your life have you been unable to let in someone’s love or even pushed it away? Much as we proclaim the wish to be truly loved, we are often afraid of that, and so find it difficult to open to love or let it all the way in.” –John Welwood
Most of us are not talented receivers when it comes to love. Whether or not we are able to give love has surprisingly little to do with its polar opposite of being able to open to the love coming towards us. We refuse the love we say we want when we complain about the packaging it arrives in. We refuse the lover we say we want when we blame them for what they are not. We refuse the love and the lover we say we want when we justify our refusal in the storylines of anger, guilt and inadequacy. In fact, most people when pushed to the edge of their refusal to receive love will admit to what may be the most painful universal wound of all – the belief that underneath it all we don’t deserve the love we say we want. Read more


PK said...

I think love is easier than sex, in some ways, dont you think, Jen? I mean to get perfect sexual compatability is tough, even though the couple loves one another really passionately!

I think that is why (please dont think I'm biased) most marriages in the east work well, since that much importance is not given to sex.

In the West, since sex is prime, it becomes an obsession, and leads often to infidelity. While physical love is really nice, it cannot be the basis of true love, the ultimate proof of this is age, if your partner becomes very old and not very physically active, does it mean love dies??

Jennifer Lawless said...

I don't think sex is prime in the West; romantic love is. However, intense romantic love can only last about two years. After that, the biochemistry changes.